“I feel like we’re all preparing to die”, said Catherine Sargent, Student Direct’s Lifestyle Editor.
You wouldn’t know it, but Catherine had convinced me only a few days earlier to be photographed nude for the Manchester RAG charity calendar. 12 societies will represent 12 months of the year, all in their birthday suits. I never really thought of the implications when I foolishly said ‘yes’.
Jennie Agg, Editor of Student Direct, asked my fellow news editor, Girish Gupta, if he wanted to make an appearance in the calendar. “I will if Adam will,” said Girish with a glint in his eye.
I arrived at the Union Bar at 1pm and sat down at a table with the other writers foolish enough to agree to this. The others try and make small talk, but there is nothing to say. Only gallows humour breaks the silence: All I can think to say is, “First guy to get an erection is buying a round of beers.” Who knew that removing clothes in front of each other could reduce a group of intelligent journalists to nervous, giggling wrecks?
I approached the bar with Catherine and Arts Editor Christina Gregory. Catherine asks me a question that I do not have an answer to, so I ask the barmaid: “Which alcohol will bloat her least?” The barmaid stares at me, bemused.
Hattie Pearson, Lifestyle writer, arrives late and looks terrified. “They only have small glasses of wine. I was considering getting the whole bottle…but I think I’ll just down this and get another one.”
My own fear was difficult to overcome. I’m not too proud of my body. I’m not toned or tanned, and being pale and ginger doesn’t lend you to nude photography. Thankfully, none one else seemed too confident either.
George Robinson, Opinion Editor, finishes the last of his glass of Carling: “I think I’ll go for the second pint.”
Five minutes later, the news finally came. “Joe is up there waiting for us,” said Catherine.
The moment had come. My stomach dropped. We look at each other. No one wanted to move.
Joe Sheffer, the paper’s Photo Editor and RAG’s designated snapper, was in the Student Direct office with an ominous-looking camera and flash bulbs. He directs Jennie, Catherine, Christina, Girish and I to the Editor’s office. “I have plans for you guys.” The six remaining writers were going to be photographed in the main office. We closed the Editor’s door.
Hearing what was going on next door made the wait all the worse. I looked through the frosted glass of the Editor’s office and saw pixelated figures take off their clothes and become flesh-coloured. A distressed Hattie Pearson screamed from the next room, “I can’t believe I’m standing naked in the Student Direct office!”
A cheer went up when Joe has finished with them. The figures in the frosted glass changed back to normal from flesh coloured. Joe opened the door. He grins. “Are you guys ready to go?”
We positioned ourselves around the office according to Joe’s instructions: Jennie sat at her desk, topless with only a copy of Student Direct to cover her modesty. Catherine is directed to stand over Jennie’s shoulder and point at the computer screen. Christina stands at the side of the desk. Joe politely asks, “Do you fancy showing a cheeky bit of cheek, Christina?”
“Oh my god”, she said, obligingly removing her underwear. “No-one dare look at my bum.”
And then it was my turn. I pulled down my boxer shorts and felt as vulnerable as on my first day in school.
Girish and I stood by the metal cabinet in the corner, attempting to casually talk while I cover myself with the office camera. I felt awkward but strangely proud of myself.
So there I was: A budding journalist, with my bare arse pointing out onto Oxford Road from the first floor of the Union building. Joe happily snapped away. I felt like this would come back to haunt me some day.
All in the name of charity.
The naked calendar will be available all through RAG Week to buy. If your society wants to be in it, contact info@manchesterrag.com to find out more.
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